he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize