so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
