I got chris browned last night
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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