yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
its not stalking. its research.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
