You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
