I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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