How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
