And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
