cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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