dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
