Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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