meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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