She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
