I think my vagina is haunted
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
