the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
