everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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