Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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