I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
