Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
