at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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