Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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