oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize