they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They took my balls.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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