..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
