I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
