Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
