at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Someone signed my nipple.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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