I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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