watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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