it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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