Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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