yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
