'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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