I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
