pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
