i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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