U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
