If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
