the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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