I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
