someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
