my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
