sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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