i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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