You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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