he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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