New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
