If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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