I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
false alarm, still single
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
