I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
