I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
