i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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