I love black thongs
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Randomize
