Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
