Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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