its not stalking. its research.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
