lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
