i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
