I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
