yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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