So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
