dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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