Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
