At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
sex in a hospital.. check
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
