im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize