There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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