If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
