They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize