Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
