If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
